Sticks and Stones
by jibber59
Summary: Why Ezra should not be encouraged to play with other ATF teams!


"What have we done wrong – and who did it?"

Travis looked up from his paperwork only slightly surprised by Chris's question. "While I have had the need to call you into my office because of someone's misstep from time to time, it's not the only reason I send for you."

"We've got no major cases to report on. Nothing big pending that you haven't already been briefed on, and for a change, all reports are up to date. Only thing left is that somebody must be in trouble. Who, and why?"

With a small chuckle, the judge decided to put Chris out of his misery. "Nobody. At least not in the way you're thinking. Team 4 wants to borrow Ezra for 48 hours."

"Crap."

"Problem?"

"Not really but, well, you know he doesn't exactly play well with others."

"I am aware he has a preferred way of doing things, but he is still a professional."

Worried the he was putting his undercover man in a bad light, Chris tried to backtrack a bit. "Oh, he'll do the job, no question. And he won't raise any objections other than the usual smokescreen about others respecting his special talents."

"But?"

"Let's just say he still has trust issues. And Grant and his team aren't exactly known for their diplomacy and tact."

Travis shrugged. "Well, agent Grant asked for him specifically. Said he was the right man for the job. I think the common southern roots plays a part in all of this. The gang they're after has some affiliation with supremacist groups so I guess he's assuming Ezra would be able to slide right in there."

"Oh, he'll love hearing that."

"You know I didn't mean it the way it came out."

Chris didn't look happy. "Yeah, I just hope Grant knows that."

Travis wasn't feeling quite as confident about the arrangement as he had been earlier. But the truth of the matter was, this was a good fit, and Standish was one of the best men around it undercover work. Probably **the** best.

"Tell Standish to see Grant by noon today. There is a meet already in place for tonight and hopefully this will all wrap up by tomorrow."

"That fast?"

"They just need him to be the final buyer. Like I said, fast and easy."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

"You hear anything from Ez about the meet last night?" Vin got into the office early the next day. Despite the bravado demonstrated when he was told of the assignment ("well it was inevitable that they would endeavor to seek out the assistance of the preeminent operative in the agency") Ezra hated to be 'out on loan' to any other team. He'd had to deal with betrayal too often in the past to want to face that risk again. Right now, Vin was just anxious to find out if things went smoothly.

"Not from him, but Grant reported to the judge everything went OK. Rest should play out this morning. I'm assuming Ezra's not taking any chances on breaking his cover since we didn't have time to set him up the way we usually do. He was staying at a hotel overnight, so I assume he's just keeping everything quiet."

"He doesn't like Grant."

Chris grunted. "Who does? The guy's an idiot on a personal level, but all the evidence says at least he's good at the job. Wouldn't have agreed to Ezra going along on his own otherwise."

Similar discussions were repeated as the others arrived before they went about reviewing their upcoming case files. Attention was less than focused as they all watched the clock and jumped every time the phone rang. They weren't used to sending one of their own out this way, and to be going undercover under these circumstances just made the pressure that much more unbearable. The apprehension wore on all of them.

The day dragged slowly. Lunch was ordered in, as no one was anxious to be away from their desks, or from each other. They were just finishing when the door opened unexpectedly. Tension ratcheted up when judge Travis walked in.

"He's fine." He knew those needed to be the first words out of his mouth or the team wouldn't have heard anything else. "Mission complete, were with no injuries on either side during the arrest." A collective sigh of relief echoed the room, but Chris's radar had been activated.

"Much as we appreciate the update, you didn't need to come down here to tell us that. Why not just call?"

Josiah had picked up on something else. "No one was hurt **during** the arrest."

Travis took a deep breath. "Agent Standish is on suspension pending an internal affairs investigation."

"Shit! I knew it. The bastards accused him of something." Buck exploded. Chris said nothing, but his face expressed the same outrage. Travis held up a hand.

"This is not a witch hunt or a blind accusation. Agent Grant has charged him with assaulting a superior officer. And Standish is not contesting it. As it stands right now, unless he comes up with a damn good reason he is looking at a minimum three months suspension followed by a 1 year probation."

"And maximum?" Vin hazarded the question.

"Full dismissal."

Chris perched on the corner of a desk, waiting and hoping the story would offer some options for them. "What happened?"

"No idea. I'm still waiting for even the initial report. All I have is a text from Grant, from the emergency room, filing the complaint. And a message from Standish saying he does not deny the action and will not dispute any outcome."

"Emergency?"

Travis grimaced "Broke his jaw."

"Why? Never mind. I know you don't have the answer. Do you know where Ezra is?"

"I assume he has gone home, although he didn't answer my call."

Vin was already calling. "Going straight to voicemail."

"Find him." Travis ordered in frustration. "Find a way to work this out. I would prefer to not lose my top undercover agent." The team stared him down for a moment. Softening his tone he added one final comment. "And I want to help Ezra if he needs."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

They spent the rest of the afternoon checking out all the usual places they might find him, striking out at each. His car wasn't at home, he hadn't been to Inez's, or any other of his usual haunts. They finally surrendered and agreed to regroup at Chris's to plan a new strategy.

"Son of a bitch. Why didn't we think of looking here first?"

Ezra's sports car was tucked out of the way under a tree. The men quickly got out of their cars, each clearly asking themselves the same question Chris had just asked Josiah. "Nathan, take a look inside."

"He won't be there."

"I know but check anyway."

The rest of the men headed to the stables. No one was surprised to see Chaucer's stall was empty.

"How long do you guess he's been riding?"

Chris shrugged at JDs question. "Figure he came straight here, so that's about four or five hours."

"He won't be riding that whole time."

Josiah agreed with Vin. "Even money says he's up at his favourite spot. The look out. Trying to figure out what to do next."

"Probably mad as hell with himself." Buck added.

JD was the one to ask the question they were all wondering. "So, do we ride up to get him, or wait for him to show up?"

Chris shrugged again. "If I go get him, I may end up pushing him off that cliff. Best we wait here. He won't keep Chaucer out late."

The sun was almost down when they could hear activity in the stables. Chris blocked any of them from heading out, giving Ezra time alone to take care of settling Chaucer back in, and to prepare to face them. He had to have seen the cars and lights and knew they'd be waiting.

With that in mind, and having a better understanding of his friend's mindset than the others did, Vin slipped out the front door. A few minutes later Ezra found him leaning against the door of his sports car.

"I trust you have taken precautions to avoid damaging the paint?"

"Where do you think you're going Ezra?"

"Home."

"Nope."

"I really do not see the need to discuss this matter any further."

"Further? How about to discuss it at all? Or don't you think we have the right to know what happened?"

Ezra looked up in surprise. "Surely you have been notified of the situation."

"All we know is that you hit Grant."

"Musta been a hell of a punch Ez." Buck's voice startled him. He turned to see everyone had joined them. "Busted his jaw."

Ezra sighed, putting his hand into his pocket as he looked away. "I was afraid of that."

"So you want to tell us why?" Chris's tone was more of a demand than a question, but Ezra chose not to see it that way.

"Not particularly."

"Okay then, make that in order."

"As I have been suspended - or is it now terminated? - you are no longer in a position to command me to say or do anything.

"Save it Ezra. What the hell happened?"

"I hit him."

"Yeah, we got that part." JD answered. "Now we're kind of looking for a few of the details."

"There are none to share."

"Ezra we can stand here all night going in circles, or you can just come clean and tell us what went on."

"Fine. I determined that the Agent Grant deserved to be struck and acted upon that conclusion. I am not particularly proud of the fact I lowered myself to that level as a response, but nor do I regret it. Additionally, it is entirely probable that under similar circumstances I would repeat the deed."

Chris wasn't pleased with the answer, but at least it was an answer. "Okay, that gets us a little closer. Now tell us what the circumstance was."

"No."

"For God's sake Ezra –" Vin began.

"What did he say to you Ezra?" Josiah asked. "What got that deep under your skin?" He got no answer.

Chris finally relented, walking over to Ezra and putting a hand on his shoulder. He could feel the tension that hadn't been the least bit visible. "Okay, look. We've all had a long day. I've got steaks in the freezer and beer in the fridge. We go in, sit down and have some dinner. I won't push you into talking, but you've got to eat Ezra."

Compromises from Chris were a rare occurrence and Ezra decided now is not the time to turn away from the offering. "I will admit to having no real appetite, but I will join you for a beverage."

Chris nodded, keeping his smile hidden. A couple of beers, especially with no food, and not only could he restrict Ezra from driving, he might actually get him to loosen up a bit. He headed for the fridge as soon as they got in, sending Buck out to start up the grill. He almost dropped the beers he was retrieving at the sound of Ezra's voice from behind.

"I will have a ginger ale, thank you." Chris turned to see a knowing grin on Ezra as he shook his head in mock dismay. "For shame Mr. Larabee. Such a transparent effort, even by your standards. I do not intend to become too inebriated to operate my vehicle, and since you would indubitably undertake to restrict my actions after the first swallow, I shall restrict myself to softer beverages today."

Chris didn't bother to camouflage the sigh. "You do like to make things difficult, don't you?"

"I wouldn't take it to the extreme of stating that I enjoy it but will acknowledge having a unique talent for it." He took the ginger ale and headed out taking care as he opened the door, drink in hand, to watch the last moments of the sunset.

"You really gonna just drop this whole thing Chris?" Nathan asked, helping him to get dinner going. "Doesn't sound like you."

"I promised him I wouldn't push him on it tonight." Nathan shrugged and started working on the salad. "Didn't say the rest of you had to back off."

"You can be a sneaky bastard." Nathan grinned.

"And don't you forget it."

Tempting as it was to try to get Ezra to talk, none of them wanted to be responsible for pushing him too far. He might look calm and collected to an outsider, but the men who knew him best could see the subtle changes that showed he was on edge. His speech, formal at most times, had become even more precise and overstated. He rarely raised his head enough to look anyone in the eye, and he had been, for the most part, keeping his hands in his pockets. Josiah had noted the shifting of the jacket enough to know he'd been clenching his left fist from time to time and wondered if he was reliving that moment. By unspoken agreement, they left him to his own contemplations until they were all called to the table. Even then, conversation was far more muted than normal.

"Can't believe you're passing up a T-bone Ezra. You sure you're feeling okay?" JD talked around his fork.

"I am quite fine, simply not in the mood to enjoy such a repast."

"It's really good Ezra, you should eat something."

"I am certain the meal is up to Buck's usual standards, but I don't wish to partake at this time Vin. Thank you." Nathan eyed him closely, then thought back over the last hour, finally realizing why Ezra had suddenly shown such a preference for left-handed activities. He quietly cursed his own lack of observation and Ezra's damn stubborn streak.

"One of us can cut it up for you Ezra, since I'm guessing your hand is hurting too much to handle a knife and fork."

"Good God son, you hit him that hard?"

"You get it x-rayed?" Chris asked in concern. When there was no response the tone became harder. "Damn it Standish. Did you even get it looked at?"

"There is no need –" Nathan was up and beside him before he could finish the thought. Ezra didn't move.

"Don't make us force you Ezra." Chris wasn't sure if he meant that is a request or a threat, but whatever it was, it worked.

Nathan whistled softly when he saw the bruising and swelling. "JD get me some ice for this. Can you move your fingers?" Ezra said nothing, wiggling them slightly. He never took his glare from Chris. There were a few grimaces as the exam continued in silence. Nathan stood, taking the ice pack from JD and placing it on the badly bruised knuckles.

"Doubt anything is broken, but that's gonna hurt like hell for a few days. Riding probably wasn't the smartest idea you've ever had."

Chris growled. "Yeah, he's just full of dumb ideas today."

"This is your definition of not pushing me?"

"No, this is my way of dealing with a jackass whose too damn stubborn for his own good."

"I presume you are familiar with the concept of the pot calling the kettle black?"

There was another growl before the response. "We aren't talking about me here. Now, tell us what happened."

Not one of them was surprised that Ezra remained stoically silent.

"I suppose we could just go to the source. I'm sure Grant would love to tell us his side of the story." Vin suggested.

"I sincerely doubt that."

"It'll all come out at the disciplinary hearing Ezra." Josiah reminded him.

"I intend to request it be a closed meeting."

Chris got up from his spot and moved across the table from Ezra, leaning forward with his fists on the table. "If you are trying to piss us off Ezra, you're doing a hell of a good job."

"My apologies. My sole intent here is to protect my privacy on a matter I do not wish to discuss publicly."

"We aren't the public Ezra." JD argued. "We're your friends."

"Which is why I would expect you to respect my wishes. Good night gentlemen." He pushed himself away from the table, tossing the ice pack into the sink on his way past.

Buck moved to block Ezra's departure but was waved off by Chris.

"Let him go. Clearly he's made up his mind." They sat quietly as they heard the door close and a short time later heard his car drive off.

"This is nuts Chris. Sooner or later the details will come out so what's his problem?"

"If he's found culpable he will be dismissed, and the file will be sealed." Josiah corrected JD.

JD paled slightly. "Seriously. They'd fire him?"

"They could. And since it seems pretty clear he is admitting guilt with no remorse that's a likely outcome."

"That's what I can't figure out Josiah." Chris joined the discussion. "I get that he could lose his temper. It happens to everyone. Especially on this team. But it's his attitude. If he'd just apologize this might all go away, or at least not ruin his career. What the hell would get to him that bad?"

"Shouldn't be too hard to figure out." Vin offered. "We **are** supposed to be pretty good at that sort of thing."

JD grinned. "It is what they pay is for."

"Okay." Chris grabbed another beer and sat back down at the table. "What gets him riled up? I mean enough that he'd take a swing at somebody?"

"Maude." JD, Buck and Vin spoke at the same time.

Josiah chuckled. "You'd be right if she'd been in the room. She can get under his skin faster than –".

"Faster than he gets under mine." Chris finished the sentence. "But it doesn't work here. What reason would Grant have to even comment on Maude, let alone say enough to get Ezra into that state?"

"You think he said something about all that shit with the FBI?" Buck wondered, getting angry at the mere suggestion. Ezra had worked hard to move past all the rumors, inuendo and false accusations, and if Grant was staring it up again there would be hell to pay.

"Doubt it. Grant respects him as an agent. Asked for him special for this job, so I can't see that he'd start questioning his integrity. It doesn't make sense."

"And Ezra wouldn't swing on him over that anyway. He'd just go real quiet the way he does when someone goes after him."

"Yeah, now if Grant had made that kind of accusation on one of us that would be… What?" JD stopped when he realized they were all staring at him. "Did I figure it out?"

"Could be." Josiah was nodding slowly. "Ezra won't always stand up for himself but go after the people he cares about and you see a whole different side of the man."

The theorizing was getting Chris increasingly irritated. "I don't disagree, but it still doesn't fit. Why would Grant go after us?"

"Trying to get Ezra to transfer to his team?" Vin guessed, already dismissing the ideas he said it. "No, he'd just laughed at Grant, not hit him."

"What is the case about? There may be something there."

Buck might be onto something. The nature of the case had set of Chris's trouble radar right from the start. "It couldn't have been good for him. Bunch of white supremacists looking to buy guns and start trouble. But it's wasn't like he was going under with them. He was just supposed to be the buyer."

"Yeah, but a few minutes with those idiots can push anyone's buttons."

"Okay so he might have hit one of them. Still doesn't explain Grant."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Josiah said quietly. "Grant can be a little redneck himself. I don't know him enough to say if he's at their level, but if Ezra got pissed enough at the buyer's then Grant might've just been in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"No." Vin couldn't see it playing out that way. "I don't buy it. He'd get mad and probably have words that nobody understood to throw at him. But if something like that – what do you call it? misdirected anger? – had been the trigger, he wouldn't be refusing to apologize."

"Unless it wasn't misdirected. And this is the closest thing to a motive we've been able to come up with." Chris stood and strode over to the phone. "Hope the judge doesn't mind a call at home."

"Judge Travis, sorry to disturb your dinner… Oh, good. What can you tell us about Grant? No, I mean what kind of man is he? Would he say something stupid that would get Ezra angry enough – yes, I know there is no justification, but at least I might be a reason. Sort of -" he hesitated.

"Extenuating circumstances." Josiah offered.

"Yeah, circumstances." There was silence at both ends of the conversation.

"Judge. Oren. What aren't you telling me? No I really would rather not wait for tomorrow – fine. But I'll be in early." He grunted. "Okay, noon. No, I won't say anything to him before I talk to you. Yes, I do. And thanks." He hung up the phone but didn't turn back.

JD was nearly jumping from his seat. "Well?"

"He knows something, and I have a feeling it may be enough to at least let Ezra keep his job. But he won't say just what he's got, but that he's been looking into things."

"Why not tell us?" Buck demanded. "I mean, if he's got the answer…?"

"He asked me to trust him Buck, and I do. We'll find out in the morning."

"And until then we just have to hope Ezra doesn't do anything stupid." Vin replied.

"You mean anything else."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Ezra carried his badge in his hand as he entered the waiting room leading to Travis's office for the afternoon meeting. There was no point in prolonging the process. He had no intention of apologizing. In the first place, it wouldn't have been genuine, and in the second place it really wouldn't help.

His only regret, well his biggest regret at least, was the loss of his team. The job was one thing, but the relationship was another matter. He knew how it would play out. They'd say that this changes nothing, and for a while they'd believe that. But even if Ezra stayed in town, by no means a sure bet, their contact would be lessened. Work brought them together, bound them together. They would remain friends, but it wouldn't be the same. It would be awkward when there were things they couldn't talk about when he was around. Inside jokes he wouldn't be a part of anymore. A self-conscience pall would hang over every gathering. It would be easier in the long run for him to break clean now. And that was what he planned to tell Travis. "Say goodbye for me. For all my wordplay and linguistic abilities it has never been a discussion I have been adept at handling."

He knocked on the door and entered and immediately saw all of his plans washed away. Travis was not alone.

"Have a seat Standish."

"There is no need Judge. Allow me to save you the trouble."

"I said have a seat." Ezra spotted a chair off to the side and turned toward it until Josiah blocked his path redirecting him to centre stage. So it was going to be like that.

He reached out to place his badge and ID on the desk before sitting but was stopped when Chris grabbed his arm. "Don't bother. That's not how this works."

Travis took back the conversation. "The first thing you need to know is that effective noon today agent Grant is retired from his position at the ATF. He was given the option of walking out the door by noon by his own choice or allowing these six to escort him at 12:01. He wisely chose the former."

Ezra dropped back into the seat, stunned by the turn of events. "I do not under –"

"No. You don't get to speak yet. The second thing is that all of the charges and complaints against you have been dismissed and will be expunged from your record. This incident did not happen."

"May I speak now?"

"Carefully." Travis cautioned. "These guys are none too happy with you at the moment."

"I do not understand the abrupt change in fortune."

"Let's just say none of this made sense, so I started asking a few questions."

"Of whom?"

"Grant's men. People who have worked with him in the past. Never really noticed how many people requested transfers after a few months until this came up."

Ezra nodded slightly. "I did not imagine I was the first such action on his part. Why has he never been reported?"

"Why didn't you?"

"Because after my exploits it seemed unlikely it would be seen as anything more than an effort to justify what I had done and would not be believed. I am not the Department's most credible witness."

Travis just glared at him for a moment, then sighed, wishing he had a way of changing that attitude. "Not going to break you of that habit are we? Well, your exploits succeeded in inspiring a couple of his men to talk to me. They didn't want to see someone as good as you go down because of a narrowminded, half-witted, racist jackass."

Ezra's eyes were growing wider with each word. "Once they let me know what went on, how you were provoked, we were able to convince Grant he was in violation of a couple dozen code of conduct regulations himself, and could very easily find himself facing civil lawsuits as well. So the matter is closed."

"Hate to disagree with you judge, but it isn't." Chris stood in front of his agent. "You should've told us Ezra. You should've said something. Did you think we wouldn't believe you? Wouldn't support you?"

"Of course not."

"Then why?"

"I feared you would."

Chris was beginning to wonder if he really wanted a crazy man back on his team. "That's nuts."

"You didn't want us following you into trouble, did you?" Vin grinned. "Because you knew we would."

"That was certainly a factor."

"Care to share the other factors?" Chris encouraged.

"No."

Travis shook his head slightly as he turned and walked back to his desk, sitting behind it and pulling some paperwork towards him. "Okay gentlemen. My part in this is concluded, so please take it somewhere else. Preferably out of the building. Whatever you do, work it out by tomorrow morning so we can get back to what we are supposed to be doing."

They stood quietly without answering him and made their way out. Ezra was last to leave and hesitated ever so slightly before turning. "Thank you - Oren."

"You're welcome Ezra. Don't make me have to go through something like this again."

Without needing to speak, they all reached the same conclusion and after a quick detour to their office to grab coats and keys, were on their way to Inez's Tavern. Chris planned to drive Ezra, not wanting to take the chance he would disappear, but Vin interceded. "Might be nice if he could get there in one piece Chris. You can tear into him later."

They settled into the Jeep and Ezra turned to face him. "I don't suppose there is anything I can say that would convince you to take me home?"

"Nope."

Ezra sat back, closing his eyes. "I didn't imagine that there would be."

Vin did drive slowly, both for the sake of Ezra's nerves (he really did not care for Vin's choice of transportation) and to give the rattled man a bit of time to collect his thoughts. Given the firing squad of glares he got on coming into the bar, it had been a good idea.

"No BS Ezra. What did he do to set you off like that?"

"I refuse to repeat it."

"Then write it down." Buck said.

"That would not alter the offensiveness of the comments."

Nathan had been quiet since the whole matter came out. He'd said nothing in Travis's office, and had remained out of the discussion since. He now leaned forward in his seat, resting his arms on the table and staring hard at Ezra. The posture and actions silenced the others.

"I don't need or want you to fight my battles for me Ezra."

"I am aware of that and assure you that was not my goal."

"We all know the assignment you were on. The kind of people you were dealing with. You were role-playing Ezra. We know you aren't part of that. I know you aren't part of that."

"I appreciate that, more than you can imagine. But fortunately that was not a posture I was required to assume for this assignment. As an outsider, I could remain distant from their preposterous comments and suppositions, dealing only with the matter at hand. It was an interesting character that was created for the task, with the background story that should be retained for future enterprises."

"You done trying to change the subject?" Josiah asked. Ezra shrugged slightly. "We get that this is difficult for you son."

"On the contrary, it is not even problematic. I reacted in a manner I deemed appropriate to the circumstance. The only difficulty I am having is in your refusal to let the matter drop."

"We'll let it drop when we're sure you're okay." JD assured him.

"Then the matter is closed. I am fine. I once again have escaped dealing with the consequences for my actions and all is right with the world."

"Something got you mad enough to hit. You don't do that. Buck or Chris or even Vin. Hell even JD, I could expect it. And God knows I've thrown a few punches in my time. But you, you don't punch. You talk, you scheme, you develop revenge scenarios that would make a grown man shake in his boots, but you do not hit."

Josiah paused for a reply but got none. He waited, sipping at his beer. The others forced themselves to do the same. It was a fool's mission. Ezra had stared down everyone from opponents in card games to maniacal killers. These men were not going to break him. He could see JD wavering already, and Buck didn't have the patience for this game either. Chris or Vin on their own **might** have been more of a challenge, but in this setting Ezra knew he could wait them out. He sipped at his whiskey, smiling. The silence from the table was deafening.

"Hell Ezra –" he knew JD would be the first to crack. "I thought we were your friends."

Looking back at it later, Ezra could not think of any other single statement that would have been nearly as effective.

"It is because of my heartfelt desire to maintain that status that I cannot share this."

"You really think anything you say on this will change things?" Chris asked quietly. He'd rarely seen Ezra looked vulnerable, and it wasn't a sight he enjoyed.

Ezra's voice was soft. "I would not blame you if it did."

"I can't figure out how your defending any one of us is gonna make us think less of you Pard."

There was almost a pleading to be believed in his voice when he turned to face Nathan. "And I did defend you Nathan. I would not stand by and listen to his vile slurs without saying something."

"I know that Ezra, and even though I sure as hell don't need it, and don't want you in trouble for it, I'm grateful you do it."

Ezra went on, almost as if he hadn't heard Nathan. Once the gates had open, he couldn't seem to hold anything in anymore.

"I can't – won't – repeat some of what he said. It doesn't warrant being aired. And when he said, amongst other things, that you did not know your place, I simply could not abide to be in his presence any longer. I corrected him, saying not only did you know your place, but that we are all damned proud to know that place was at our sides. I tried to leave but he blocked the exit and –" he faltered.

"You hit him." Buck finished.

"No. I did however misjudge the moment and foolishly made eye contact." He could hear Grant's voice in his head, taunting and condescending, the bayou accent thickened by his anger.

"_You can bullshit the others and deny it all you want Standish, but underneath you and I are exactly the same. Good old boys, Southern to the core. Sons of the Confederacy, ready to fight for the south again if we only were given the chance. Ready to go back to the way things should be."_ Ezra looked up to see them staring and realized he repeated the words out loud. He wished the room could swallow him.

Buck snarled. "Well hell Ezra. I'd have hit him for you if I'd been there.

"Of course you're gonna slug a man who slanders you like that." Josiah added.

"I didn't hit him because he was wrong. I hit him because I was afraid he was right."

The table went silent. Vin was the first to find his voice. "Have you lost your mind Ezra? Because I can't think of another reason you'd say that."

"Have you considered it is because it is the truth?"

"No." Six voices answered almost in perfect unison. Nathan's "hell no" stood out.

"Sorry Ezra. I've met too many idiots like Grant in my lifetime to buy for a moment the idea that you're one of them."

"For God's sake," Chris began, but stopped when Nathan's look silenced him.

"Ezra, I have no idea of who you might've been in the past, and to be honest with you, I don't much care. Way you were raised, some of the stuff you've told us - I understand the influences. And I've listened to your undercover work with some of these morons in the past. You fit in like a man who's heard that all his life." Ezra seem to be shrinking further into his seat with each phrase Nathan spoke.

"Not your best pep talk there Pard." Vin cautioned Nathan, but he continued.

"More important than any of that, I know you. I've seen the way you deal with people. You listen better than anyone I've ever met. You don't just hear the words - you hear the voice. You get into their heads. Maybe that's why part of why you're so good it undercover stuff, you have all those stories, all those lives in your head to draw on. What all that proves is that you don't care who people are on the outside, but good Lord Ezra you want to know everything about them on the inside. You care.

Now I never thought I needed to say this to you, but I guess I was wrong. You have never disrespected me, for any reason. Never seen you do that with anyone who didn't legitimately have it coming. It took me a bit of time to accept it, but I can honestly say I have no doubt in my mind you are not the man you think you are right now."

Ezra sat, not moving for almost a minute. Despite the noise in the tavern, all he could hear was the ticking of his watch and the raspy sound of his own shallow breathing. A million thoughts ran through his head. Moments from his past, things he shouldn't have said, and some he should have. Moments spent with Nathan, with all of these men. He tried to process what had been said; to weigh its veracity and to consider a valid response. Finally the pieces fell into place and he realized it was only one comment he could possibly make. One comment that could reflect what all of this had meant to him.

"Thank you."

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**


End file.
